Bangkok: The Story So Far

In my last blog post about moving to Thailand, I was (cautiously) optimistic about living in Bangkok. That was in July.

A lot has happened since then.

Between leaving Chicago and moving to Bangkok, I spent a month in Bombay. Although I saw friends and family, my time there was overshadowed by visa and work permit issues that were so complicated I entered Thailand as a tourist, which forced me to stay in a hotel for about a month. Work, communication, and the language barrier was also more challenging than I'd expected.

Visa issues were out of my control, but in my head, they became reasons to feel negative about the move. I convinced myself I didn’t want to be in Bangkok at all. This went on through my time in Bombay to as long as about 3 weeks ago. These were the roughest months of my life.

Since I stepped foot in Bangkok, I found faults everywhere. My job, people being inclusive (or the lack thereof), the language, and above all, the dark feeling of having built a life in the U.S. only to have it taken away.

I kept thinking, why is this happening to me? Why is it me having to move to a country I do not speak the language in? Why do I have to be somewhere I do not want to be? How is this fair?

Alone, confused, and aimless I questioned what my purpose of doing this was. This has been the first time in years, where I found myself lacking drive. Lacking answers and wondering what the point of putting myself through this was. I was in a constant loop of annoyance and anger.

Even through this period, I knew my thought process was flawed, I was being illogical, immature, and whiny (to put it mildly), but it was hard to snap out of.

I did try to make the best of things. I had visitors (parents and a solo travel friend), met a few people from the Indian community, and checked out tourist spots around Bangkok. During activity, things seemed better and I felt happier.

However, every time I returned home, or idle every moment I had to think, negative thoughts returned.

Over the last three weeks, however, things have improved. Three key changes have helped (one far outweighs the rest, some I should have been more proactive about)

1. I went back to Bombay for my uncle’s 60th birthday.

2. I began traveling again, starting with a long weekend in Taiwan.

3. I started using expat-focused apps like Meetup to build a social life, got more comfortable at work, and have upcoming travel plans that keep me optimistic.

Returning to Bombay re-energized me. I was around friends and family (some of whom I had not seen in months) and I cherished every single moment of it. It brought me a lot of positivity and mental peace.

As I had conversations with family, everyone asked how Bangkok was going and I found myself forcefully sugarcoating to some and sharing the struggles to others.

Reactions were mixed. However some crucially, gave me time and advice. Advice delivered in an empathetic and constructive way.

People understood the frustrations and even the reasons behind my illogical thoughts, they did not critique or judge me for it but, instead offered a perspective, at times a shoulder, and genuine suggestions. There was nothing groundbreaking in their advice, it was stuff I previously recognized too. What did help was their mere presence and time. I suppose I was just missing that, that feeling of the people of home.  

They know who they are, and I hope they know how much of a positive impact they had on me. I have lived in and out of Bombay since Monsoon 2019, and those 36 hours I was back, were the most special I have had since.

Returning to Bangkok, I left Bombay with 2 big goals because of the conversations I had with them and how much I believe they want me to succeed and be happy.

1. I do not want to come back home in a few months or at the end of my time in Bangkok and not be excited about sharing my experiences with them.

2. I need to give this a proper shot. I need to start meeting more people and doing things to get myself out of this misery so that when I do look back on my time here, I can say that I have not regretted it.

   

I don’t expect this to be the best year of my life, I do not want to hold any expectations. I do thought, want to feel like I gave it a proper effort. There are a few things I can do to make the next year or so easier and happier for myself.

• Meeting people: Zero expectations, there are challenges with this that I had not expected stepping into Bangkok. No matter what though, I need to have friendly in-person interactions. MeetUp has been a good way to start. Right after returning, I went out drinking with a group of expats, entered a tournament in a chess café (very humbling). I plan on continuing to use Bangkok’s expat community to meet people on and make my time here feel manageable.

• Visiting Bombay: I will probably never have the luxury of being such a quick flight from home. I want people to come visit me but, I also intend to go back as often as I can because that is what energizes me and gives me joy at this moment in time.

• Traveling: Taiwan was a great trip (solo too) and as I accrue more vacation days, I shall continue to visit more places. I have a new goal: 30 countries by 26th April 2026, I am on 23 at the time of writing. This will also help me write more (stay tuned for a piece on Taiwan, coming soon).

  • Laos

  • Cambodia

  • Myanmar (Burma)

  • South Korea and/or Japan - unrealistic to do both with the time constraints

  • Indonesia (remote island)

  • Malaysia

  • Short trips in/around Bangkok: Hua Hin, Khao Yai, Pattaya, a Moo Deng pilgrimage???

  • 4 trips in Thailand: South West islands, South East islands, Chiang Mai, and an off-beaten place I do not know exists yet.

I recognize a lot of the "positives" are regarding managing and making my time here bearable. Gradually though, as I enter more of a flow state and I truly feel happier, that will hopefully change. I hope to focus on having the most fun possible and looking back on my time in Bangkok as a something I miss.